I wonder how funny God think my “Type A” Personality is!?
A few days ago, I imagined God laughing at me and what I thought my life was going to be like. I graduated early, thought I would easily get into my dream graduate program, and would be well on my way to my goals in the way I planned it to be. I am not failing and I am definitely going to be achieving my goals but the humor is the route I planned to get there. I had each month planned out and were I would be, and has that occurred? I wish!! I have taken some detours, crashed into a few things just to be placed right here were God wants me to be. It is often difficult to think this is God’s plan, especially when you are in the heat of the moment and get the tear provoking deferral letter or even facing the terrible GRE.
If you are anything like me, your “type a” personality is a blessing and a curse. When I think everything is working out there is a curveball. However; since graduation, I have learned you can’t have a five month plan not even a five week plan. This is just going to create disappointment when something doesn’t go as you expected it to. Yes, you should have dreams and goals but you have to remember the way you are going to achieve these things may not be the way you plan. Post graduation, I have clung on to the idea that the creator of the universe has planned out every detail of my life before I was even born!!! So Nicki, are you really that much of a control freak were you are going question the creator of the universe??? Seriously though!
I am hoping there is someone that can relate! Whether, you might have not passed a class and didn’t get your diploma when you planned to receive it or maybe you didn’t get your dream job/summer internship that you wanted. Just remember it is going to be OKAY!!! You are going to soon get that diploma; even though its not when you wanted (there’s a reason for it). Also, have you ever thought there might be a better job for you? I promise everything works out the way it is suppose to. Like my Mom often tells me, “Don’t be too hard on yourself and love the life God has given you!” There are many things in my life that have created so much unnecessary feelings of disappointment because I expected my life to go the way I envisioned it to be. I am finally understanding to just actually stop controlling every detail, and just let God take control of everything!
If I think back on the past few months, if I didn’t get deferred from graduate school I would have never been able to take my solo trip to St.Maarten. I also would not be able to spend the amount of hours I do volunteering at the women’s shelter. God knew that those women needed me there for them, to talk with them, and comfort them at the craziest hours of night when no one else would. When you reflect on your “discouragements”, God is just directing you/protecting you/teaching you in what you need in your life!
It easy to think because something didn’t go as planned that you are a failure or going to fail but I am hear to tell you, you are not failing God is directing you to right where you need to be! You just gottta put the same amount of trust in God as you do in Google Maps to get you where you need to go!
So babes, I am going to leave you with Jeremiah 1:5-
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”